Spit it Out

Canadian Songstress, Gross! It reminds me of that scene in WWZ (*spoiler alert*) when Brad Pitt is fending off a zombie whose blood gets all into his mouth and all over his face. Brad, afraid that the zombie plague is transmitted through blood, runs to the edge of the rooftop and counts to 10, the […]

Splish Splash

Mode, I’m going to give you a pass on our last topic because I would like to talk about something that happened to me this morning. Something terribly ridiculous, a truly New York phenomenon that makes my life seem even more like a Cathy comic than it already is. It’s Friday. I’m getting a little […]

The Sound of Settling

Jane, Very tough question. To be honest with you, dealbreakers are such a fascinating phenomena. I have found that when you sit down to think about it, divorced from a particular person(s), it is nearly impossible to come up with a list of absolutely objective dealbreakers. Instead, when you think of a particular person, you […]

Let’s Make A Deal

Dear Modellian, Without sounding too much like Carrie Bradshaw, or even her spiritual antagonist Liz Lemon, what are your dealbreakers when it comes to relationships? I know, I know, you can’t help who you fall in love with and other such gagworthy clichés about dating in the big city, but there have to be some […]

Mea Culpa (Slash) Welcome Back

Mo, Update: My mattress is glorious. I actually bought my mattress online after having a particularly bizarre experience at a Sleepy’s a few months back. I too was directed to “Lie down here” and “Try this one which is thousands of dollars over your budget but it’s totally worth it and it will change your […]

If A Tree Falls in the Woods…

David(a?)(elle) Chang! While that Buddhist (?) question about if a tree falls in the woods and there is no one to hear it, does it make a sound certainly works as one of these “whoa” questions, I’m not sure the same parallel can be made for a blogger who writes letters to another blogger. At […]

Grown Up Things

Dearest Modellian, Today something momentous happened. I got a new mattress. It is currently sitting on the floor of my living room, according to the directions, “fluffing.” My old mattress was just that– old. Tremendously, historically, chronologically, absolutely old. I reckon that my mattress is probably about thirty-seven years old. It once belonged to a […]

Postal Service (Just Got Your Letter)

Jenny Lewis, I am glad that I did not read your post until after attending that amazing nostalgia-filled show on Saturday Night courtesy of the Postal Service that actually makes money (as opposed to the postal service that insists on not only losing money, but being wasteful money as did when it overprinted those Simpsons […]